State of Mind

wow, it's amazing, I just wanted to write something after a long time and when I opened my blog, I read my last post and couldn't believe my eyes! Had I written that? It shows that my thoughts have been continuously working on the "state of mind" issue...well it's not really an issue...maybe a capability!

What I was going to write today was about what I experienced last night...I was on treadmill in our detached garage, reading a book and walking at the same time, was pretty excited about the book: The Witch of Portobello by Paulo Coelho and not really noticing my walking, I checked the mileage and I had already walked 2 miles! I set the book aside and started running, it was getting dark outside...I was in a great mood and full of energy, that I suddenly thought I heard something, as I was running I check the back yard through the window and of course nothing was there...continued running and again I thought there was someone in the yard, turned off the treadmill and listened and looked: no one was there...I started running and suddenly all these scary stupid thoughts of beasts and devils came to my mind and I got so scared that I could feel cold sweat on my chest, my thighs were getting heavy and I needed to pee right away! Ran to the house, turned all the lights on, peed, called him and felt much better, went back to the garage and started to run...

I was good for a while but again the scary thought attacked and this time i was shivering! I couldn't believe that how easily and quickly my thought took over my entire body! I felt so fatigue that I gave up and did not finish the last mile, went inside the house and locked the patio door...

How is that possible? A stupid thought can make you paralyzed in a matter of seconds! This proved once again how powerful your thoughts can be...it's amazing how your thoughts can control your life everyday without even noticing it...I think the key is to figure out how you can control your thought...if you could keep your thought or "state of mind" in a positive state, heavenly state, then your energy boosts; but if you loose control of your thought, it can take you to the dark side...

So, I have two questions to answer:
1. How can I control my "state of mind"?
2. What can I use the immerse energy obtained from the positive "state of mind" for?

It's interesting, somehow I feel that I know what I can do with the immerse energy obtained from the negative "state of mind"...I don't know why I feel like this maybe because all the dark acts such as killing, raping, torturing, suffering are discussed everywhere but the enlightened acts are not either discussed as much or their outcome is not as clear...Maybe it's just because of the old school tradition of scaring you from hell or god's punishment that people/teachers/parents/film makers talk about the bad outcome of negative stuff...

What are those enlightened acts anyways? Based on what I understood from Dalai Lama book, the enlightened acts are love and compassion...love and compassion...love and compassion...

....amazing...either I'm just a lucky person or I'm on the right track and the vertex/mother/devine is helping me with signs that some people might think as coincidence: just received this email as I was typing this post:

can't upload the image in PDF format...will try to convert it to jpg and insert it later...

dearest devine, thanks for your love...